the forgotten grain
I always thought film was too cool for me.
I travelled to Guatemala for the first time when I was fourteen. It was a missions trip. I only had one year of being a teenager under my belt. I still carried around a flip phone and an iPod touch (remember those days?).
I knew I would see beautiful things, so I bought a pack of two disposable cameras from Walmart and packed them in my luggage. I took about five photos on that trip.
For the next two years, the partially used camera and the other (still wrapped in shiny plastic) sat in the bottom of my dresser —the junk drawer.
And for all of my hyper-organizational tendencies, I allotted myself one drawer for the miscellaneous items — the ones without a home, a bin, or a basket. It didn’t need to be organized, and that was okay. I stuffed the drawer with old cheerleading shoes, half-used journals, shin guards, dead speakers, random charging cords, SD cards.
One day I braved the forbidden drawer, perhaps searching for my Minnie Mouse Ears for my upcoming trip to Disney World, who knows. Whatever the reason, I opened it and came across the cameras.
I took the unopened disposable camera, removed the plastic covering, and placed it in the glove compartment of my car.
That was 2016.
For the next five years, I’d open the glove compartment (probably in search of napkins or sunglasses), see the disposable camera, snap a photo, and place it back inside.
During my sophomore year of college, I acquired another disposable camera from a school event and used it to snap photos of the city. This past year, my mom gifted me a real hand-me-down film camera.
So now here I am — a few weeks post grad with four rolls of film just waiting to be developed. But if I hadn’t developed film from 2014, then what made me think I would do it now?
Yesterday, I bit the bullet. I went to my local camera store with all four cameras in hand.
I shrugged as I handed the cashier my debit card.
“This film is so old. I don’t know what’s on here. I don’t even know if there is anything on here.”
I told the cashier I would not be upset if nothing came back, I just wanted to know if there was.
My wallet is $80 lighter, but, as cheesy as it sounds, my heart is glad and full of all the light, airy, happy emotions.
These cameras captured the mundane moments — the ones otherwise forgotten in the hustle and bustle of life. Chilly walks in the city. Car rides in a foreign country. Short drives to the mall or the lake or the thrift store.
Highlight reels are cool, but don’t forget about the inbetweens.
